What I read in July

Four books and a whole lotta of Twitter

A non-comprehensive list of things I did in July: got exposed to COVID…three times, managed to not get sick, had a full come apart about the Democratic election, sent mean emails to elected officials, wept over the political prowess of Nancy Pelosi, argued with my fifteen-year-old about politics, celebrated with my fifteen-year-old about politics, spent more hours then I am willing to admit to checking Twitter, traveled across the world to Japan, walked an average of 22k steps a day (sometimes while checking Twitter), ate fantastic food including but not limited to offal soup and a squid stuffed with quail egg, cheered on a Japanese baseball team, rode a Ferris wheel on top of a discount store named Don Quixote, soaked in so many onsens, recorded a podcast in the shadow of a Japanese shrine, drove to Cincinnati and back in 48 hours, turned 43, cut my own bangs, slept a ton, slept not at all.

It was a hell of a month is what I’m trying to convey to you and somehow I still managed to read four whole books.

Ok, one was basically a novella…but it STILL COUNTS.

High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out by Amanda Ripley

That's the main difference between high conflict and good conflict. It's not usually a function of the subject of the conflict. Nor is it about the yelling. It's about the stagnation. In healthy conflict, there is movement. Questions get asked. Curiosity exists. There can be yelling, too. But healthy conflict leads somewhere. It feels more interesting to get to the other side than to stay in it. In high conflict, the conflict is the destination. There's nowhere else to go.

I bought this book because a listener recommended it…or more likely, more than one listener recommended it. I take listener recommendations seriously because the Pantsuit Politics community knows me very well. I have no hesitation clicking over to Amazon and clicking Buy Now when they say I have to read _______.

However, I do have a problem pulling that book off the bookshelf and reading it. I do best with library or book club deadlines BUT I am very committed to not buying (or checking out 😳) any new books for the rest of this year so I can put a dent in this pile.

(I need y’all to keep me accountable on this. I’m going to post my TBR pile in a separate post for an additional layer of accountability.)

Anyway, this book was in the pile and I thought I’d take one longish nonfiction book to work through while we were in Japan..except I read the entire book on our 13-hour flight over there because that’s how good this book is!

Given that I was caught up in the high conflict of Joe Biden’s failing candidacy, the Holy Spirit was really at work when I plucked this one off the pile but boy howdy did it meet me where I was at. It spoke to how shame and exclusion could trigger the intractability I saw in Biden at the time. It spoke to the gang-like devotion I feel like I see inside the Republican Party sometimes. It spoke to so much of my journey with the podcast and the good conflict we try to show on the podcast. AND Ripley gives so many actionable, brilliant tips about navigating whatever high conflict you find yourself in.

As someone who’s read suh. many. takes. on our partisan conflicts over the past ten years, it takes a whole lot to impress me but this book did. I can’t recommend it highly enough and was some serious positive reinforcement to keep at my TBR pile because so many treasures are in that stack.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

At that moment, for the first time ever, I felt I’d become a part in the machine of society. I’ve been reborn, I thought. That day, I actually became a normal cog in society.

This book is on basically every “Read if you’re going to Japan” list. I wanted to read some of the history tomes that are often recommended but I didn’t because planning the trip itself took every bit of extra time and energy I had!

So, I saved Convenience Store Woman to read while I was there, and it was perfection.

First, we were obsessed with the konbinis - the Japanese convenience stores - so reading about the workers and work culture surrounding them was fascinating. Second, this beautiful, simple story was an eye-opening insight into Japanese culture and what it feels like to be different in a culture that highly values conformity.

I loved this little story, which will definitely go on my “Read before your to go Japan” list.

Sandwich: A Novel Hardcover by Catherine Newman

She has always pictured it both ways: squinting against the unbearable lightness of loving while simultaneously crouched under the heavy cross of it.

I always read one or two of Anne Bogel’s picks from her Summer Reading Guide. This was one of my picks this year. I’d already seen Sandwich mentioned in a couple of other newsletters I read so, when Anne recommended it I added it to my hold list immediately. (Anne Bogel is a beloved friend and the absolute best in the game at book recs and also she is not helping the above mentioned TBR problem.)

This novel is about being in the sandwich generation - stuck between kids and parents who need care. It’s also about being married and being menopausal and being a woman and just being.

I loved so many parts of this novel. The only thing that’s keeping me from raving about it is one particular scene that felt unearned, dramatic, and never got mentioned again. (I definitely want to hear from those who’ve read it if they know the scene I’m talking about…)

Overall, it was an easy summer read with depth that I’d recommend without hesitation for your next trip to the beach.

Hollywood Park: A Memoir by Mikel Jollett

Children experience loneliness like shame.

I finished High Conflict, Convenience Store Woman, and Sandwich while in Japan. So, I boarded our eleven hour flight home with only what was on my Kindle. Again, this feels like the Holy Spirit at work considering my aforementioned commitment to my TBR pile.

Amazon tells me I bought this ebook in 2020.

I remember I bought it because Laura Tremaine recommended it. I love memoirs, so this was a no-brainer.

I finished it, but just barely. The warning lights started flashing after I’d read for an hour and was only at 4%. It’s not poorly written. Jollett is a lyrical and impactful writer. It’s not dull—the man was born into a cult, for God’s sake.

It’s just SO. LONG.

I like a focused memoir. This was my beef with Bono’s memoir as well. It’s a lot to ask a reader to walk through your entire life. That’s why I think my favorite memoirs are more focused. A childhood trauma (see Educated or I’m Glad My Mom Died) or the story of a marriage or family revelation (see anything written by Dani Shapiro).

I just can’t go from 5 - 40. It’s too much life. Like I really wanna read Barbra Streisand’s memoir, but I’m not ready for a trip through Barbra’s 70+ years with Barbra.

I love a biography that spans decades. We all know how much I’ve gone on and on about Beverly Gage’s masterpiece on J. Edgar Hoover or James Traub’s biography of Hubert Humphrey. When someone else is telling the story, it just goes faster. When the author is telling their own story, I struggle to keep the momentum.

I finished Hollywood Park (with some heavy skimming), and it is an incredibly compelling story with so many beautiful insights, but it needed to be about 200 pages shorter.

Ok, tell me what you read in July? Definitely tell me if you read Sandwich and know what scene I’m talking about? And tell me that you’ll keep me accountable to my TBR pile!

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